Much has been written over the ages about Soul Retrieval but few people understand exactly what that means. How can we lose our soul? We see perpetrators of violence and cruelty losing their humanity, but what is it to lose one's Soul?

As we emerge into this world we progress on journey through life that takes us through various developmental stages. In our first year of life we as the infant live in a symbiotic relationship with our mother, not fully realising that we are indeed separate and distinct. As we develop and grow older our sense of self develops we begin the process of individuation.  If we have been welcomed into a family that has the ability to receive us in merging love, we then retain the innocence, vibrancy and joys of childhood leading us to feeling whole and complete as adults. However, this is rarely the case as it is the history and experiences of our families that determine whether or not our parents are able to bring us into merging love - trauma plays a major role in the disruption to this ability to take one another into merging love.

To understand our own separation from the innocent essential self we need to understand our response to trauma and also understand what trauma is. Most envisage trauma as being a specific traumatic event such as an accident, violence, illness, the death of a parent when young, sexual abuse and rape, abandonment etc. However, when not raised in an environment where our innocent essence is both nurtured and reflected back to us, the trauma can be 'drip fed' over a much longer period of time. Such 'drip fed' trauma can be experienced as a result of: critical parents, over disciplined parenting, frequent criticism, verbal or physical violence that takes place between the parents and sibling rivalry. Trauma is associated with shock, grief and fear and can be experienced at any age from birth right though to our golden years.

One of the challenges with trauma and to truly understanding it is that very often trauma occurs long before we can speak - this is called pre-verbal trauma. With pre-verbal trauma we generally have no specific memory or story to refer to, but simply a feeling.  These feelings can be quite intense at times or pervasive.

When we experience intense feelings as young children they are often overwhelming creating a lot of fear. If our trauma is directly related to our relationship with our caregiver, usually a parent, then out of an act of perceived self preservation, we will then separate from the feelings. Each time we separate from such intense feelings we also 'lose' a part of ourselves that becomes frozen in a time capsule from our past. Slowly, over time, we begin to lose much of our contact with our essential self and can emerge into the world as adults feeling empty, lonely or separate from the world.

These separated selves often dwell within the darker places within us holding onto feelings and belief systems that can be self destructive such as rage, hatred, humiliation, shame, guilt, grief, resentment to name but a few. With Soul Retrieval work we enter the inner landscape where this separated aspects of self can be returned to wholeness. So how is retrieval of a part of us that holds onto rage help us to become more complete as a soul having a human experience?

It takes a lot of energy to hold these parts in place - to suppress, oppress and otherwise keep hidden. When this energy is released more of our pure and essential self can flow again and we begin to regain the precious innocence and vibrancy of childhood. When the separated self remains unresolved this can lead us into addictive behaviours, co-dependent relationships, feelings of emptiness, loneliness and depression to one degree or another. Soul Retrieval is a powerful Shamanic process for unifying the separated self.

To experience Soul Retrieval, consider taking a journey with me during a Skype session to start the process of recovering that which has been lost in separation.

What is involved in a private Phone or Skype session?

During private sessions I will employ my many years of experience with Ancestral Healing and Family Constellation work alongside Shamanic Healing processes and Energy Healing. No single session is the same and depending on your need will direct where a session or a series of sessions will take us. Skype and Phone allow us to work together no matter where you are in the world.

For more information regarding Phone and Skype sessions, visit my website: John L. Payne's Website HERE

It takes a very courageous child to be happier than its parents.

When we speak of children, we are of course talking of each one us, for each of us is the child of two parents, and therefore, whether we are six years old or sixty years old, we are someone’s child forever. However, when a young child or teenager is faced with cancer, mental or physical disabilities, ADHD or other conditions that can cause disruptive life patterns or be life limiting, where do we turn for answers? When we turn to allopathic medicine, they will in general prescribe medication or even surgery, and perhaps tell us there is a genetic disposition for a particular illness within the family. If we turn to our homeopaths or other holistic practitioners they will talk to us of our (or the child’s) emotional and mental disposition, about bringing balance to Ying and Yang energies and recommend special diets, all of which can, and in many cases, do work, whichever route you may take. However, there are some deeper questions that need to be asked, but more often than not, we don’t even know how to ask the question.

A relatively new science called Epigenetics is beginning to unveil new evidence that suggests that what our grandparents or great-grandparents experienced is passed down to us biologically. Epigenetics is defined as the transmission non DNA sequence information. For example, if our grandparents had to flee a war or some other trauma, the effect on their adrenal system can be passed down to us many generations later, having an impact on our endochrine system, the way in which our body digests food and our general metabolism. However, what does any of this have to do with the Soul?

In Family Constellation and Ancestral Healing work, we are aware of three levels of consciousness. The individual, the family consciousness and the consciousness of greater groups such as nations and ethnic groups. As individuals, we are not islands. We belong to groups, and the group of strongest influence is made up of parents, siblings, grandparents and so on and so forth. So in which way do we belong to this group? Clearly, from a biological perspective, we are our parents and grandparents, having similar physical characteristics and more often than not, similar personality traits and emotional characteristics. However, there is a far deeper truth than this that is revealed through the ‘Knowing Field’ as employed by Family Constellations. The ‘field’ contains energy and information and so within the ‘family soul’ (or field) the experiences and loyalties of our ancestors are stored. In using the words ‘ancestors’, we may naturally think of some far flung individual living in ancient times, sword and shield in hand, however, in the trans-generational healing work of Family Constellations, ‘ancestors’ are much more close to hand and starts with our parents and grandparents. What we have observed consistently is that traumatic events such as war, the early death of parents, grandparents and children, accidental deaths, murders, adoptions and placement in an orphanage can have a deep residual impact even three to five generations later. Just as such experiences can leave emotional scars with the individual that may affect the pattern of their lives for many years to come, or until its conclusion, so too do such events leave an imprint on the family soul where individuals one or more generations later can feel those feelings as their own. These emotional imprints have been observed to lead to alcohol and drug abuse, depression, disruptive relationship patterns, bi-polar and even cancer and similar life limiting illness and disease.  

Imagine a process that is so deep and yet so gentle that you are able to transform the imprints that have come to as a result of ancestral trauma and picture yourself being able to easily reveal and release hidden loyalties to the suffering of others. With this process we can not only hear the voices of the ancestors, see the entanglements first hand, but also feel the results.

For workshop and private session details, go to: John L. Payne's Website HERE

Epigenetics Link: HERE

One of the greatest annual migrations on our planet is the migration of the Monarch Butterfly as they make their way from the high altitude forests of Mexico to the Great Lakes of Canada. What is so remarkable about this truly epic trek is not the so much the distance, but that this heroic journey is multi-generational. The adults leaving Mexico never reach the Great Lakes of Canada. They settle on the way, mate, lay their eggs and die, leaving it to their young to continue the journey. These young ones in their turn also settle on the way, mate, lay their eggs, die and leave it to their young ones to go further in the journey. So whilst a great multitudinous flock of butterflies leaves Mexico amily Constellaheaded for Canada, not a single one makes it to the destination, not even their children, but it is their grandchildren and great-grandchildren that arrive at the planned destination. So this begs a question? How do the grandchildren and great-grandchildren know where to go? How do successive generations simply know that their migration route is from Mexico to Canada and back? Who tells them? How are they told? Their parents are dead even before they hatch, they emerge into the world with only their siblings and yet they know exactly where to go and they’ve been doing this for generations.  The offspring are able to follow their parent’s wishes, their migratory instinct and urge as in ways yet fully to be understood by science, they have been ‘imprinted’ with not only the urge, but also the map of how to get there.

With Ancestral Healing and Family Constellation work we’ve discovered the same thing, we have all been imprinted with commands, belief systems and the emotional footprints left by our Ancestors – some are desirable wells of knowledge and experience, other imprints are limiting life patterns that do not serve us. Our imprints can be: ‘it is nobler to be poor’, ‘the world is not safe’, ‘it is disrespectful to be happy when others have suffered’ or ‘I too will become ill and die’ or ‘I don’t have the right to....’

When traumas occur in the family an imprint is left on the ‘family soul’ and just like the monarch butterfly, this imprinting journeys down through the generations often compelling us to make life choices that do not serve our health, our happiness or the love that can be present in our relationships. When we understand the ‘butterfly effect’ within our ancestry, we then have the power to heal ancestral trauma and take more charge of our lives instead of unconsciously being subject to hidden beliefs and fears.

As a link in the chain between generations, we can also heal our ancestral lines that will further provide relief to our children and grand-children.

Links

Article on Epigenetics HERE

Information about BBC Documentary HERE

Captivating BBC Video on Epigenetics HERE

A BBC Documentary a little while back presented evidence from a new field of science called Epigenetics.  Evidence is mounting to suggest that various genes can be switched on an off depending on the stimuli coming from the environment. These environmental stimuli are directly connected to trauma and the events of the past.  Dr. Rachel Yahuda, well known in her filed, has studied the effects of the intergenerational effects of trauma and its links to PTSD.

Whilst science is beginning to show us that certain genes relating to disease can be switched on or off depending on the circumstances, trauma and environment our ancestors lived in and experience, the ‘field’ within which Family Constellation work emerges is showing us clearly that feelings, beliefs, self destructive behaviour, life limiting patterns and our ability to form loving relationships are also transferred to us down through our family lines. However, does this mean that we have no control over the fate we live? Are we destined to live out the fate of our ancestors? The answer is no for two reasons. Firstly, not everything coming to us from our ancestors is negative, much of it is indeed very positive, it is pure life force energy and we can tap into their wisdom and wealth of experience. The negative influences coming down to us about which we at times can feel we have no control over can be addressed directly by working with the ‘Ancestral Field’.  A skilled healer can access our Ancestral Cords through the chakras and other focal points, thus guiding us through releasing and healing that which no longer serves us.  Family Constellation work is an additional very powerful modality for identifying hidden loyalties and unhealthy ancestral influences.

What is becoming more evident is that science and the healing arts are beginning to merge in significant ways in certain sectors. What science is now telling us is that the trauma of our ancestors can and indeed does not only affect our emotional state, but also our biological condition in terms of our susceptibility to disease, additionally, the chemical reactions in our brain that can have a direct influence on how we feel and our perception of reality. Healers have been telling us this for quite a while, science is beginning to agree.

To explore Ancestral Healing and Family Constellation work more deeply, please contact John via www.familyconstellations.net

To read more about the trans-generational effect of trauma, the events of the past and the healing solution you will want to read The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations Click HERE

One of the greatest annual migrations on our planet is the migration of the Monarch Butterfly as they make their way from the high altitude forests of Mexico to the Great Lakes of Canada. What is so remarkable about this truly epic trek is not the so much the distance, but that this heroic journey is multi-generational. The adults leaving Mexico never reach the Great Lakes of Canada. They settle on the way, mate, lay their eggs and die, leaving it to their young to continue the journey. These young ones in their turn also settle on the way, mate, lay their eggs, die and leave it to their young ones to go further in the journey. So whilst a great multitudinous flock of butterflies leaves Mexico amily Constellaheaded for Canada, not a single one makes it to the destination, not even their children, but it is their grandchildren and great-grandchildren that arrive at the planned destination. So this begs a question? How do the grandchildren and great-grandchildren know where to go? How do successive generations simply know that their migration route is from Mexico to Canada and back? Who tells them? How are they told? Their parents are dead even before they hatch, they emerge into the world with only their siblings and yet they know exactly where to go and they’ve been doing this for generations.  The offspring are able to follow their parent’s wishes, their migratory instinct and urge as in ways yet fully to be understood by science, they have been ‘imprinted’ with not only the urge, but also the map of how to get there.

With Ancestral Healing and Family Constellation work we’ve discovered the same thing, we have all been imprinted with commands, belief systems and the emotional footprints left by our Ancestors – some are desirable wells of knowledge and experience, other imprints are limiting life patterns that do not serve us. Our imprints can be: ‘it is nobler to be poor’, ‘the world is not safe’, ‘it is disrespectful to be happy when others have suffered’ or ‘I too will become ill and die’ or ‘I don’t have the right to....’

When traumas occur in the family an imprint is left on the ‘family soul’ and just like the monarch butterfly, this imprinting journeys down through the generations often compelling us to make life choices that do not serve our health, our happiness or the love that can be present in our relationships. When we understand the ‘butterfly effect’ within our ancestry, we then have the power to heal ancestral trauma and take more charge of our lives instead of unconsciously being subject to hidden beliefs and fears.

As a link in the chain between generations, we can also heal our ancestral lines that will further provide relief to our children and grand-children.

Links

Article on Epigenetics HERE

Information about BBC Documentary HERE

Captivating BBC Video on Epigenetics HERE

A BBC Documentary a little while back presented evidence from a new field of science called Epigenetics.  Evidence is mounting to suggest that various genes can be switched on an off depending on the stimuli coming from the environment. These environmental stimuli are directly connected to trauma and the events of the past.  Dr. Rachel Yahuda, well known in her filed, has studied the effects of the intergenerational effects of trauma and its links to PTSD.

Whilst science is beginning to show us that certain genes relating to disease can be switched on or off depending on the circumstances, trauma and environment our ancestors lived in and experience, the ‘field’ within which Family Constellation work emerges is showing us clearly that feelings, beliefs, self destructive behaviour, life limiting patterns and our ability to form loving relationships are also transferred to us down through our family lines. However, does this mean that we have no control over the fate we live? Are we destined to live out the fate of our ancestors? The answer is no for two reasons. Firstly, not everything coming to us from our ancestors is negative, much of it is indeed very positive, it is pure life force energy and we can tap into their wisdom and wealth of experience. The negative influences coming down to us about which we at times can feel we have no control over can be addressed directly by working with the ‘Ancestral Field’.  A skilled healer can access our Ancestral Cords through the chakras and other focal points, thus guiding us through releasing and healing that which no longer serves us.  Family Constellation work is an additional very powerful modality for identifying hidden loyalties and unhealthy ancestral influences.

What is becoming more evident is that science and the healing arts are beginning to merge in significant ways in certain sectors. What science is now telling us is that the trauma of our ancestors can and indeed does not only affect our emotional state, but also our biological condition in terms of our susceptibility to disease, additionally, the chemical reactions in our brain that can have a direct influence on how we feel and our perception of reality. Healers have been telling us this for quite a while, science is beginning to agree.

To explore Ancestral Healing and Family Constellation work more deeply, please contact John via www.familyconstellations.net

To read more about the trans-generational effect of trauma, the events of the past and the healing solution you will want to read The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations Click HERE

When we embark on journey of personal transformation it is often difficult to remember who we were before, our past behaviours, beliefs and ways of being and doing almost become like feint and distant shadows of our former selves. At times elements of our past selves are still there to remind us that there is still more transformational work to do, but very often we look back at who we were and wonder ’How could I have been that person’?

Growing up I had a mother who suffered from depression. Sometimes it was so severe that she would simply sit and stare at the wall and I would stand in front of her, not only deeply worried about her condition, but also with a longing just to be seen and noticed.  Out of my deep need to be seen I began to live from a space of existing to meet her needs, hoping vainly that if one day she would get better then she would see me. This became a lifelong pattern in many of my friendships and definitely in intimate relationships – existing only to fulfil the other person’s needs in the hope that I would one day be seen for just being me.

My long journey towards individuation and developing the ability to meet my own needs and to allow others to be where they are with their process and being independent of whatever their experience of life is has had many twists and turns, much heartache and finally the light appeared on the horizon – I no longer needed to define either who I am or my worth in relationship to other, but rather, define myself in relationship to myself, which in turn deeply affected my relationship to others – love was able to flourish and flow more freely.

I grew up to become an adult having no idea that I had never individuated, no clue that I was still stuck being that little boy waiting for his mother to emerge from her depression and see him. The process of individuation has not been an easy one, but the ball was set firmly in motion as I threw myself into Family Constellation work. So what is individuation? It sounds like a fancy word; however what it really means is having a deep sense of self and our place in the world. What we all long for is connection, not only to ourselves but also to others and the world round us – we want to feel and live the pulse of life. It may seem a strange concept that in order for us to feel connected others we need to connect to ourselves – or individuate. For the most part, each of us can spend years, if not decades, trying to get from others what we don’t have. This can only ever fail. It is ironic that in order not to feel like an island separated from others and mostly living in our head, we need to come into ourselves in order to feel connected and not alone. It is from this place we can create loving relationship that exist in equilibrium – with balance between give and take.

It takes great courage for any child to be happier than their parents. Perhaps I should repeat that – it takes great courage for any child to be happier than their parents. As I entered the world of Family Constellations it was as simple as taking a breath to see that I was totally entangled with my mother. That much I got. But how do we change something in which we have invested much of our lives in? Spotting the entanglement was easy, the hard part was going to be convincing me to individuate and exist for myself and with myself. My greatest fear was this: If I give this up I will lose all hope of anyone ever loving me.

The important question here is the following: Does the parent exist for the child, or does the child exist for the parent?

When as young children we exist for the happiness of a parent, to either ensure their happiness or to give the parent purpose or reason to live, it becomes very challenging for us to individuate and to exist independent of others.  When are unable to exist independent of others we can become rescuers and very ‘needy’, we can begin to define ourselves and our existence through our relationship to others than rather than our relationship to ourselves.  Through Family Constellation process I began slowly to leave the burdens of others with them. This was no easy task. Being the burden carrier had become my raison d’être, what would I do if I didn’t carry this? Who would I be? What would become of me?  As I had simply not received enough as a child I had no sense of self, I simply did not know who I was and could not feel who I was outside of this function of being the burden carrier.

The process of individuation and truly allowing others to carry and hold their own burdens was not easy, there was a gaping hole. It was an abyss of emptiness, a void that could not be filled, or at least so I thought.

As we begin to disentangle from the fate of others we get a breath of fresh air for the first time, for the first time we see the sun and the fog begins to lift. It is as if we’ve just arrived in our own life and everything is new. From here it is like discovering the New World and in this new world there is the relationship to self and individuation. From this place of strength and aliveness we love differently. We begin to love from our core, for now we have our core, and can see the core of others in all of its splendour. From this place we do not give to be seen, we do not love to be seen; we simply love for this is what we have at our core. As we individuate we start giving to ourselves all of that we did not get as a child and we are no longer dependent on others to fill the void. As the void fills up we re-enter relationships as one plus one equals two, as opposed to half plus a half equals one.

The process of Individuation can start with simple and yet powerful Family Constellation work and evolve to a place where a more apt name for the work can be Personal Constellations or even Self Realisation Constellations. We can literally step in the door with an issue with our mother or father, or simply that we are not happy, and walk out of the door with a deeper knowing about what the mystics, gurus, saint and ancient scriptures have been telling us for a thousand generations.

Websites:

www.familyconstellations.net

No part of this article may be reproduced without quoting its source.

In Family Constellations work we often refer to the ‘Orders of Love’ a term originating with its founder, Bert Hellinger.  What do we mean by the ‘Orders of Love’?

In an ideal world when a child comes into the world the child is taken into merging love by one or both parents, or by its care givers – be those care givers grandparents, aunts, uncles, father, mother or even adoptive parents. However, for so many of us being taken into merging love with a care giver simply does not happen or does not happen sufficiently enough to give us a solid sense of self and our place in the world. Is it that our care givers are not good enough or had mal intent. Whilst in some cases that can certainly be true, but in the majority cases it is simply because the care givers themselves were also not taken into merging love with their own parents or caregivers. 

With Family Constellations we are not looking at whose ‘fault’ it was that we carry certain limiting beliefs or self negating feelings, we simply work with interruptions to the flow of natural bonding love between parent and child. When a care giver fully bonds with a child, unhindered in their ability to reach out to the child and bring the child into merging love, then the child gains a clear sense not only of its worth and lovability, but also of its self. When this does not happen, the pure and essential innocence of the child can be corrupted into believing that somehow something is wrong or even worse, that somehow it is bad.

So what can cause an interruption to the ‘Orders of Love’? The Orders of Love are Trans-Generational in nature and span countless generations, the interruptions we feel the results of are more often than not within the scope of two to four generations, most within a generation or two. Interruptions are caused by trauma and in every family traumas exist. So how do traumas interrupt the Orders of Love? How can they influence the ability of a parent to take a child into merging love?

When we experience trauma we more often than not dissociate from the event, especially when it is overwhelming. In that dissociation we invariably create a dissociated part within ourselves – and herein lay the problem. As we dissociate from a part of ourselves, we literally dissociate from being fully present in the world and in our relationships and this includes parenting. We may not even be aware that we are dissociated or that we are not as present with our loved ones as we could be.

In generations gone by there have been many tragedies, personal and global. These tragedies include wars, internment in prisoner of war camps, fathers not returning from the front lines, the early death of children and parents, stillbirths, epidemics and tragic losses. These are just some of the events that can leave a deep residual footprint on the psyche of an entire family – and often to such an extent that this footprint can be felt, albeit often not consciously, two or three generations later. Along with trauma also come limiting belief systems, again, often subconscious. These beliefs may range from ‘There’s not enough’ to ‘The world is not safe’ or ‘Everyone is an enemy until they prove otherwise’.

With Family Constellation work we can begin to address and resolve a number of levels of personal healing. Firstly we can identify what beliefs and influences we are carrying as a result of generational trauma and events and resolve those beliefs, impulses and reactions to the world. Additionally, we can begin to resolve our personal wound of not having been brought into merging love, the wound of not having received enough. It is not anyone’s fault that these things happened, they simply are. Imagine for a moment that a grandmother, pregnant and waiting for her husband to return from war receives news of his death. Every breath her child takes reminds her of him. She in turn can either want to take distance from the child or smother the child, wanting the child to also replace her husband. When this child grows up he or she emerges into adulthood either not having received enough or with an aversion to deeper contact as it threatens his or her sense of self and individuation. As this child becomes a parent this response will have a deep influence on his or ability to take their own child into merging love or to know the boundaries of ‘too much’ and respect their child’s process of individuation. And it is in this way that trans-generational trauma has a very far reach, it is also through Family Constellation work that we can reach far back to heal the source of the interruptions to the ‘Orders of Love’.

There are many tools and modalities available to us in order to resolve some of our negative belief patterns, self sabotage and other limiting life circumstances. However, it is my belief that no single modality can resolve all issues and additionally it is my experience that Family Constellation work is fundamental to all healing processes.

Each of us longs for the innocence of childhood and to be taken up into merging love. Whilst we are now adults this merging love can be experienced internally, giving us a deeper sense of ourselves, our worth and our place in the world.

In order to benefit from Family Constellation work we do not need to know the details of our family’s history, it is all contained within our psyche and in what has been called the ‘family soul’. What his work underlies more than anything is that we are not the islands we suppose ourselves to be. We are far more connected to our family that any of us ever thought possible and for generations.

www.familyconstellations.net

Contact: john@johnlpayne.com

International Workshops and Training

Sydney (Australia)- California (USA) -Toronto, Canada  – U.K

Shamanism is the oldest spiritual tradition known to humanity and for thousands of years Shamans on each and every inhabited continent have developed an effective and profound system of healing through journeying, soul retrieval, and communication with the Ancestors and others in the spirit world.

So how does Shamanism, an ancient spiritual tradition, fit with Family Constellation work which can be seen as a psychotherapeutic process? At the core of Family Constellation work is inclusion of the Ancestors in assisting us to heal our entanglements and deeper family wounds.

My first experiential introduction to Shamanism came to me when I opened my healing and training centre for Family Constellations in Johannesburg, South Africa. I invited a dear friend along who was a practicing Sangoma, a traditional medicine woman and Shaman in the South African tradition. She brough with her a troop of aspirants and a senior Zulu elder. They danced, they drummed, and they summoned forth the Ancestors and blessed my own work with the Ancestors through Family Constellation work. Since that time my contact with the Ancestors has deepened and not only my interest in Shamanism has grown, I now consider myself a Shaman after having studied and experienced Shamanism with teachers and groups alike.

Blending Shamanistic practice and ritual into my hands on healing and energy healing practice came naturally to me, it was a perfect fit. My power animals would assist, my Shamanic guides would enter the healing space and the Ancestors of my clients would also enter the healing space in order to assist.  However, how would this world of shape shifters, medicine men and women, animal spirits fit into Family Constellations?

Over the past decade I have gradually introduced elements of Shamanic practice into my public Family Constellation workshops and always with remarkable results. Over the years I at times encountered family systems that simply were ‘too much’ to tackle on my own and through the traditional approach of Family Constellation work. No-one has the stamina for a ‘heavy’ piece of constellation work that may last for well over an hour – at times, we need to learn that something is simply too big and that we need to ask for help! This is where the Shamanic world steps in to help and Grace becomes not only evident, but very present, as present as the sweet smell of jasmine.

Today, I take my rattle, my drum, my music and prayers with me to a workshop, and when called for, we call upon the Ancestors in Shamanic ritual and pray for the healing of an entire family line. Lost souls are retrieved, others redeemed and those burdened by their family history feel the relief as the Ancestors and the presence of Grace lifts their hearts once more.

So many individuals come to us as healers with the most burdened of family histories. Those histories can include murders, the loss of many family members, tragedies so profound that words can barely describe them and the mind and heart can barely comprehend. When we call upon the Ancestors and the medicine men and women of old, souls can be retrieved, shattered family souls can be repaired and burdens dissolved. They fill the room with their blessings, their power and their energy. As Family Constellators we are honoured to be in this presence for it through the participants of the workshops that the Ancestors can work and each person is touched at a level that words can barely describe. When we drum, we drum for the return of the forgotten and the lost, when we pray, we pray for their redemption, we welcome each and every one home again, into the bosom of our collective love.

Ancestral Cords

You may be tempted to believe that there is very little connection between Family Constellation work and energy healing work -after all, they don't look the same, feel the same, or behave the same. Family Constellations, through engaging in the 'field', is as much energy healing work as any other modality. It is my belief that no single modality is in total isolation, and no single modality provides all of the answers.

So, what are Ancestral cords?

Chakra Cords, Ancestral Cords, or also called Relational Cords, are strings of energy that run between individuals, within religious and political groups, within families, ethnicities and nations. More commonly they are experienced as our energetic connection to family members, friends, spouses, partners and lovers.

Although not experienced through usual five sense perception, the knowledge of such energetic connections has crept into our day to day language use with expressions such as 'No strings attached', 'Cut the ties'. Very often when we express feeling 'tied' to a job, situation or another person, a relational cord will be involved on one level or another, involving one or in some cases, several chakras in the human energy field. Cords can be transient or permanent, even existing over many lifetimes.

So what do cords do? Essentially one can see them as telephone lines between individuals, or like the internet in a family or other grouping. In their highest state they serve to transmit love from one person to another and even knowledge. In the animal kingdom, scientists often refer to 'instinct', however, knowledge may be transmitted through relational cords down through the generations.  

The basis of the Universe is Energy and Information, all of which sits on a vast field of love - all of these aspects can be transmitted through cords. For this reason it has often been observed that adopted children will exhibit behaviours or even food preferences that are identical to their biological parents, even though may not even know who they are. Cords exist between children and their biological parents.

Ancestral Cords

In my experience these are found in the Base Chakra, the First Chakra.

Ancestral Cords connect us to both our maternal and paternal ancestors stretching back countless generations. Contained within the ancestral cords is information and energy concerning our Ancestor's experience, wisdom, knowledge and also their trauma and illnesses - one could view Ancestral Cords as being energetic DNA, it is the stuff we are made of in our current physical form.  Through my work with Trans-Generational Healing and Family Constellation work I have observed that very often what a client may interpret as a past life experience may indeed be an Ancestral Experience. A trauma that has a big impact will leave a footprint on the family soul and can be felt for many generations, up to seven or fifteen generations.

It is my belief that when we prepare to incarnate, we choose a family that has a similar energy configuration that matches the challenges we wish to overcome or lessons we wish to learn. There appears to be great correlation between our past life experiences and those of our ancestors.

It is of utmost importance that Ancestral Cords are approached with deep respect. There is no such thing as a 'bad' ancestor or one that needs to be excluded, in fact, exclusion only seeks to make matters worse, for whatever is excluded in one generation, will simply be included in another. If an ancestor was made 'the black sheep' of the family in a previous generation, then someone else will fill that gap and take on that role in a later generation.

It is through the influence of Ancestral Cords and other Relational Cords that adopted children can express the characteristics and personality traits of their biological family, even when separated at birth. Cords carry energy and with it, information, a hologram of the current physical life. Adopted children will manifest their lives in a way that often expresses the inherited hologram in astounding ways.

Similarly, a child born as a result of IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) where sperm is taken from an anonymous donor, the child will have both Ancestral and Relational Cords to the biological father and his Ancestors.

Ancestral Cords can be healed through Family Constellation work, or also through focussed energy healing work -both are effective, just different in their approach.

In my next missive, I will talk about Relational Cords.

Love,

John

Atonement

Whether or not we look at ourselves as healers, irrespective of the type of work or service we provide, each of us carries within in us a need, hidden or otherwise, for atonement.  However, atonement seeks to pay back debts, either personal or global, that simply cannot be repaid.  When we act from a place of seeking atonement, or as a hidden need to pay a penance, those acts never become sufficient, the debt can never be re-paid. This is not because a Divine authority refuses the payment of debt, it is because when we are caught in a cycle of paying for a never ending debt of guilt, no matter what we do, who we serve, it can never be enough. It behoves us to step to one side and allow Grace to step in.

In my experience, there are three main debts in which we can get caught: Personal, Ancestral and Global.

Personal

Your first response to this could be to say ‘But I have done nothing for which I feel the need to atone’.  We atone for the for the fact that we were not loved as we could have been loved, we atone for the repeated times during which our essence, our Divine spark was not seen, recognised or encouraged when a child – we have concluded, and have kept that conclusion buried deep within the abyss of our most wounded shadows that somehow, some way, it must have been our fault or that there is simply something wrong with us, abandoned by God in a cold world that is blind to its own magnificent essence, blind unto itself, blind unto others, blind unto the child of the Divine that we were when we emerged into this world as pure essence. So, in part, we atone for a sin not committed, for we have incorrectly assumed that somehow it must be us who is wrong, that we must have brought this upon ourselves.  Our religions seeks to reinforce this, they tell us they we were born in sin or that our suffering is as a result of past misdemeanours in a former life. All around us it appears to be confirmed that not only are we wrong, but indeed even our light is not welcome.  It is the blind leading the blind, the wounded wounding others, those ignorant of their own light who seek to quell the light of others. 

And finally, we atone for having abandoned God, not the God out there, the God of the sky, the one in the heavens, but we atone for having abandoned the God within, our light, our presence, the essence of who we are. We keep just enough of it alive in order that we do not shrink, wilt and withdraw from the world or from the glimmers of hope we keep on the far horizon.  We atone for having abandoned ourselves. We atone for all of the times we have chosen to shrink away in fear, to deny the light we have within us, we atone for all the times we have denied the light in others and have moved away from them with discomfort, scorn or criticism, just as we have piled doubt and rejection upon ourselves. It is not so much that we find ourselves too important if we shine our light, it is not that we feel less humble when we do, this is not our motivation, our motivation is that we have chosen never to feel the pain of withdrawing our light from the world ever again, we have chosen never to risk being unrecognised for who we are, so we remain small, keeping just enough of our true selves present in order to be effective healers and compassionate human beings – and yet we atone for all of the times we have betrayed ourselves.  We turn this around and we blame God, other powers and forces, be those forces our families, political organisations, religion or even science and culture. However, the choice has always been ours not to shine, for fear of the wound. As we atone individually for what we have done to ourselves, we intuitively know that all of the suffering, darkness, evil and misery in the world is born of the same denial of self.  Darkness is merely the absence of light. In our denial of ourselves, we have been unwitting participants in the darkness in the world. We stand apart and say ‘but I am not like them’ and yet, like them, we shrink from our light, we shrink from our own light to the same degree to which we shrink away from the darkness we see in others and in the world. And so we atone, for instinctively we know, that it is the separation from ourselves that contributes to world suffering, as we participate in the suppression of our own magnificence, when we are so dependent on the good opinions of others, when we hide our light for the sake of their discomfort or jealousy, we contribute to the dark with the absence of our own light. We look up to the sky and proclaim ‘My God, My God why hath thou forsaken me’ when all along we have forsaken ourselves. Out of all the virtues, courage is the most important of them all in this place of profound forgetting and denial of who we are, for without courage, all other virtues such as love and forgiveness have no place to shine.  We do not need to atone for having abandoned the God within, we simply need to submit to it, with courage, and allow the incessant mutterings and fears of the ego die upon the cross of surrender. As we do this, we ascend to heaven, not to the heaven in the sky, but to the heaven within and become the child of God manifest in glory, as heaven upon earth, where magic abounds with every breath and in every living moment. As we forget and withdraw our light again, we once again forgive ourselves for our fear and allow ourselves to shine once more until one day, the blindness of others and the world no longer has an effect upon us.

Our greatest enemy in all of this can be the mind. Our mind seeks to figure it all out, tell us how to heal ourselves and others, the right method, the right modality, the right conduct and the right concept, theory or process, however, all along all we needed was to open our hearts like a child opens its heart – to forgive without regret or hesitation, to love without fear of rejection, to shine like the brightest star, without fear of being too visible. The mind can heal in limited ways, we can learn how to manage, classify and understand our pain, which gives us some relief, but only truly does the heart heal – it is the courage to love that calls us.

All images and text copyrighted by John L. Payne